yo 3rd day at clarke quay outlet..A lil lazy to go out in the afternoon in the hot sun...Well i attended the trainina and wat? I fell down flat on my palm infront of everyone..SO pai seh and tuui lian.. damn sian lor..

Well i met many new colleague this time May,purr,bryan, and the coolest of all Wee Liang..WL looks skinny and very fierce...:( he was so cool all the time and i tried to break the ice when Idah told me he was from RASA sentosa last time..20 this yr a dropout! so sad just being lazy lah..He can work lah..The most interesting thing is that he looks alot like Freddy a good pal of mine..Just a shorter version only the muca sama slupah..:P

The rstaurant was exceptionally busy today..A kiddy table of Sec 4 grads were celebrating a Candie's b'dae her parent were there too sitting on another table not far..See even parents cant let them be adults for a while..What's with these kids? I doubt they had even made a cent man..Sum prodigal idiots i suppose..I wonder some of her guests ever dined in a restaurant before a not-proper fine dining..She took the glass on the left my GOd!! the other was so eager to save money on drinks and called for ice water in the first instance..the host was so generous to order 5 lobsters in all..The parents told me to ask her over i suppose it was to ask her to be mindful of her order...Well just a bunch of ginnas coming in to act class..Cut that act man didn't even pull chair for the girls..:(

Today is Irwin's b'dae..I think he totally forget abt me le..I called him and he happily said i cant go China black cos no 18 yet damn sian forget than say so lar! Well i got his pay for him..HE owe me one man..Lolx..Next week id Fabio's b'dae wonder wat to getr for him i think angbao more apt..He can buy wat he like..It's auspicious too not to elaborate and all..Ok that's it the amount how? Jamealiah's already 18 lat month OMG! I'm slow man..

I saw Wayne again but no sparkle this time..MAybe it was just an event last week we weren't meant for deeper friendship or anything at all..Idah and Farzea attended Irwin's party this morning..SO energetic right? tml idah 10am shift sia..OMG!

apple loves
12:50 PM

finally waited for my 1st day at clarke quay the new outlet...People were practically more friendly there..Well it's still to early to tell. D, the barman was still so cheeky..Well he was from the former workplace too. Things were going well, slow and steady..First day i only had to entertain on etable of 20 pax under DHL com some minor misunderstanding over the wines.. but lucky Pam was with me we chat and bitch somehow manage to pass by..The guest complained about bad service previously and commented that the service has improved..Our work man..I can't imagine that i really bore with it..It was so infuriating for them to rush us all the while but the tip was quite worth it-100:) They even refused to leave until Steph our PR stepped in..Sales was hot 17,000 that day..

Well nothing is perfect though.. i had problems with the menus and recomendations.This will probably take time..

Sunday
Sunday was the Brunch but no one actually came to eat so we helped ourselves to the buffet spread at 3.We bitched a while then prep for dinner operation..Sebast wasn't that bad afterall he joked and chat a bit here and there.perhaps it was my biasness in attribution before.Don't assume before u try that the point..Many were unable to make it so we had toseek help from the cafe and bar for staff.We had only 4 to run the show..Not even a proper barman or somelier everything was DIY..I started to miss Irwin and old man how nice if they were here!Well there's no neverending banquet..HAix...

Well, i got to know this guy by chance, his name is wayne, slightly plump,fair preety cute bar server, a poor guy who got ticked off when i spoke my first line to him..He was pumping beer at the bar and ended up pumping foam instead. I yelled at him not to try anything funny then left in embarrassment..YAh me and my temper! I had to find a suitable opportunity to apologise to him. It was tough and weird..u noe? Eventually i did..He said he didn't take it to heart..Well not utterly convinced though. In the later of the night he came up to get some food i suppose and i happened to be talking to idah about buying supper..He came into the pic and ask why i didn't ask him..I asked him then and he said he needed nothing..Duh! He even asked me if I was Malay when i finish with my shopping..Hv better pickup line lor was idah's thnking.. Yep anyways i manage to chat with Idah for a while in the changing room when she touch up on her make up..Tot it would be quite strange after all we haven't worked together for so long...

Looking forward to the coming week to work hope things are improving and going...

Tuesday
I called the restaurant for my pay..Sam told me it was ready..I went down to take from abang. He tot i forgot abt him ..Lolx i won't dare man..Spoke a bit to Yazid abt operation and all at the back area then went back..I visited the night market at Tampines central bought 3 rings and 2 wallets the ring weren't durable at all!!The wallets were great @14 &16 respectively..

Wednesday
My LSM proj grp meet early in the morning to do up the presentation.CAke ,one of us was sick..We were concerned abt her grades but she did not appreciate and became offensive when we told her to produce an MC if she can't make it on fri..I didn't like her attitude for this case but it seems that the others are fine with it to take her nonsense..

Thursday
Psycho presentation was due..We manage alright w/o rehearsal..Jason was a little crappy but we had the time for him to do so.still got peer appraisal haven do yet so sianx..:( hope we didn't fare too badly..Tml is LSM presentation le so stressed later kana fired with qns cannot answer how?not even sure if we were on the right track a not damned sianz..Pray hard they'll be lenient tml..

apple loves
7:28 AM

Going throughbthe chapters on Pyschology read about self fulfilling prohecy. That's when one expects a future utcome and acts to increase the likelihood that it will occur.. This is somewhat linked to motivationwhen we perceived an outcome and acts to achieve it. Pyschos ourselves we call that. Humans tend to form positive impressions in good mood attaching it to schemas which are susceptible to err.. such schemas help us to develop expectatons about how others will behave and plan our interactions more easily.

Yesterday me and my friends were chatting on C, a smoker in our group, she claims that she had stopped smoking and gained 1 kg as a result. Despite our advice that smoking cause undesirable results she refuse to accept it and held on to her believe that smoking helps her to control her weight. That is actually cognitive disonance to begin with , she had tried to add additional cognitions that smoking helps in weight controlling and the fact that she is reducing in numbers and will quit eventually.

A conformity test conducted showed that people succumb to unanimity of group though they disagree with their ideas totally..the factors triggering this phenomenon are the status of the group, situation-publicly or prvately and the unanimity of the group pronouncing pressure.

Attractions is closely tied to proximity and mere exposure, the reason why people tend to develop feelings at workplace like for my instance. Proximity explains the high probability that human become friendliest to their neighbours and mere exposure is the repeated exposure to any stimulis that increases our liking. Familiarising can evoke positive feelings especially if the first impression is positive. Other factors like similarity and physical attraciveness are not neglected either.

Yesterday was J's b'dae, least expected was that H was not acting out of the norm despite the remarks i passed on her previously. T, my old flame joined us for the steamboat and soon C, his rumoured target came. C did not eat much as she was on diet. Ironically she had pratas for breakfast and nasi lemak for lunch!!! High cholesterol how not to grow fat and she blames it on not smoking! T actully msg me to meet him first then go to marina bay together but i was too engrossed in the book on the train and failed to notice the msg. I reached there about the same time as H we waited at the bus stop and on our way, we met this woman who followed us while trying to persuade us to patronise her steamboat shop. We ignored her after one said he was tricked to that shop once and realise the food was not fresh. We settled down soon after T came and took a bus to a shop next to Marina Mall. After C came we strolled to the esplanade and river Hongbao where we took pictures across field that was supposed to be out of bounds. We walked up the stairs leading to the expressway and after much pains manage to reach the river Angbao. J went there to have his portraits drawn and paid an astonishing 80SGD for a nothing much portrait. H and C had their fortunes told by a quack i supposed both were asked to alter their names. C was unconvinced because her parents had her name approved by professionals. She was advised to wear more red clothes to improve her love luck which was hindered by the curbing of elements presented in her name. H one was pretty accurate saying that she was popular but her relations will suffer setbacks. T bought a stamp at 15SGD without the ink pad and proper box. I merely spend 18SGD or less in Beijing for a marble one with ink pad and proper box. His choice le..

I was mesmerised by the paintings on bambo shoots, peony, horses and plums...Wanted to buy one and hang it at home had no money on hand. Even my cab fare had to be borrowed from J.. I had to share the cab with T and on the way home it was pretty quiet initially and i daringly broke the silence by talking about school stuff. Not a perfect start but at least there is improvement with the shy and stigmatic girl I used to be. Insecurities absconding, embarrassment fading...Pyschology defintiely assisted in my understanding of own behavior and how i could work to improve on it.

apple loves
5:32 AM

Well today's the sickening valentine i thought. Everyone seems to be in the mood for love giving and receiving flowers. So heartwarming it seems that everyone is comparing who's bouquet is bigger and who's gift more expensive. What about some egoist women who predicted nothing will come? Dig their own pockets to join in the game? That's silly but news has it.. HaHa..

I was definitely not hoping to receive anything but kind of a longing that there might be some special encounters. True it did. I received a couple of chocolates and brownie made by my friends. That's more touching then anything. Valentine is not just dedicated to lovers friends too can have a wonderful get together for bachelors and bachelorettes alike. watching elapsed in the presence of my eyes, nothing dramatic happened and i managed to skimper through with my pyschology project.

Something astounding done yesterday was to drop my heartfelt testimonials to my friends , relieving myself from hypocrisy. I was pretty sad for a friend who lost his Bf in a recent breakup my wish now is that she could get over it soon. That guy betrayed her before not some shocking news.. she deserves something better it's his lost.

Taking a glance back, I've never celebrated valentine with any bf so i suppose i'm destined to wait for The One to appear..Sounds like some fairy tales huh? then lived happily ever after? HAHA..

apple loves
10:35 PM

just last week i can't quite recall which day, after a Ktv session with my pals-Jon and Hui there was this sudden peace and calm in my heart. A feeling that i haven experience for a long time. Sending away the panic attacks that comes every now and then before. I felt so much lighter really lighter in terms of body mass. The attachments that haunted me were seemingly gone for good. What happen beats me too. Perhaps its knowledge that people around me has found their happiness and this happiness is my source of inspiration and peace. Had i been too self centred trying in vain to attain lasting happiness by keeping my thirst for desire ocuppied. My realisation was that humans are always greedy if we are easily manipulated by it we are in fact walking into a road of no return. Our greeds are never contented and insatisable. Only when people around are good then will i too share their feelings. All along i have been fulfilling my desires of lavish parties, drinking,shoppin hoping to keep myself happy. this happiness derived faded almost immediately. Maybe it's the fact that the person i cared for and felt sorry for has received his share of happiness that allowed me to liberate myself from the cell of self destruction. I became so cold towards people around me, agressiveness overwhelmed me leaving me breathless with fear in my attempts to subdue the anxiety in me. My sleep was surprising tranquil and serene, no more falling into pits, startled to wake up. I no longer dread going out to work and is never so recharged to do so.

Just yesterday i wrote my heartfelt words to someone instead of the usual hypocrite i was forced to become and always detested myself for. Truth always hurts and causes you to lose a friend. Why are human so attached to praises and glory that we delude ourselves and refuse to face up to reality? Why do humans look at outer appearances all the time and bears a higher tolerance for the pretty and good looking? Why are people so concerned about someone's build, beauty rather than manifesting their talent and good works?

Why do people always think their lives are not as interesting as others but in fact it is the way they made it sound boring. Reading the blogs of a few friends may be something good to start with. You will find that their life assimilates yours but they chose to reflect it positively just to create an impression? Who on this earth has never felt alona nd empty before? Why are we comparing since we noe that everyone is different? Why is it that even i am caught in these samsara and unable to be delivered from it? When did i plant the seeds of malice and reap jealousy? Probably the culprit that destroyed relationships? Why do people backstab? Why do we hate them? One possible reason is extreme love which is synonymous with expectations and pleasure when being betrayed these qualities thus causing extreme hatred so torturous to hate then to love. Don't be a slave for destiny rule it. You are rsponsible for your own destiny.

apple loves
2:23 AM